How to Be a Good Submissive: A Quick Guide for D/s Newbies



When entering into a D/s relationship as a submissive, you have to first know what it means to be a sub and how to be a good one. Subs are one thing and one thing only: submissive. It takes a special kind of person to willingly submit themselves to a Master or Mistress. This takes mutual trust and understanding. There are many traits that make for a good submissive and this quick guide can help D/s newbies learn if they being a sub is right for them, what preferred sub traits are, how to let go of themselves and give in to their Dominants, and how to play safely.


Are You a True Submissive?

Oftentimes, who we think we are isn’t always who we are, and vice versa. There are many people out there that think they are worthy of being dominated, but so many of these sub-curious folks discover that their personalities clash with the tenets of sub-life. It takes more than being submissive to make you a sub.

You have to have an open mind, clear of any jealousy, fear or anxiety, and be able to trust your Dom unconditionally. This is important because it is explicitly one of the pillars of a successful D/s relationship. You may be a feisty, outspoken, dominant person in real life and still desire trading in your real-life personality traits for new submissive traits. You are also looking to change something within yourself, and with the help of a good Dom, you will. It is about control and willpower and the ability to give that up on your own. You can’t expect anything in return; your Dom will either reward or punish you (so be a good sub and get rewarded). D/s can be strictly used in play scenarios or be lived full time as a D/s lifestyle. How extreme of a sub life you live depends on you.

It’s About Giving In to Your Dom(me)...and Yourself

To be a good sub means that you must learn to shed those traits that hold you back from being dominated. Your Master or Mistress will be attentive when training you to ensure that you are getting what you deserve. Subs can be rewarded for effort and punished for deviation from a Dom’s rules. Remember, your Dom is there to teach you how to be a good submissive; it’s your job to learn. As you become more submissive, you will go through a metamorphosis of sorts as you shed your dominant traits and learn to give yourself completely to pleasing your Dom.

An Exercise in Pleasure and Power
 
Where the Dom exercises power, the sub willingly accepts that the Dom is in complete control. However, if the sub communicates to their Master/Mistress their consensual boundaries, the Dom is more likely to get what he or she wants from their sub. The power struggle is a huge dynamic to the D/s relationship and the better each plays their respective roles, the more fulfilling the experience becomes.

If you’re still interested in being a good sub, you have to find a Dom that has the patience to properly train you. This takes a deep level of commitment and understanding on the Dom’s part. Do you want to be a submissive?

 

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